Thursday, December 30, 2010

What is Real?

There are no words for this feeling in my heart. I want to try though because it is a feeling I'd wish for every person I've ever known and even those I haven't.

There has been a reassurance in my heart of what is real and I've had moments in the last few days that, though simple, I hope never to forget.

Ever since Ryanna drew her first depiction of the nativity(above) there have been little stick figure nativities drawn on every scrap paper in our house. I picked up a half dozen pages with these little sketches, sometimes 4 or 5 to a page, off of Ryanna's floor today and paused enough to let Him, the little baby, into my heart. The king of kings came to earth as a baby to a virgin mother... Far off leaders of other lands, or wise men, follow a star that brings them to the Christ child... Humble shepherds saw angels and were part of that silent night... Who could possibly believe such a story? Many minds believe it cannot be so. That these things are not real. The feeling I felt in that moment however was so much more real than the scraps of paper in my hand. I felt my heart burn in a way I can only describe as an authentic confirmation of truth in my soul, that it all really happened. 

I have a favorite Christmas show(The Forgotten Carols) with a character named John who identifies the perspective of disbelief in his nurse Connie Lou. She says she cannot believe the Christmas story though she wishes she could. He tells her that that is a great Christmas wish which she says isn't what she meant. He then tells her something that helps illustrate the feeling I'm trying to explain. He says he knows that isn't what she meant with her head "...but that's the thing about hearts, it doesn't care so much if it makes sense. The Christmas story...who could possibly believe it if there wasn't something in our hearts that said YES! It Is True!"

All the time lately I'm aware of the dichotomy of this life. In this very moment for example I'm feeling hungry and beginning to feel ready for bed; very real feelings for this physical being named Kristin. In fact, physical feelings are often the victor of the constant battle for my attention. Also awake at this very moment is what makes me more than a hungry, tired woman; awake is my spirit that resides in this physical body. That spirit is the heart of who I truly am and have been for much longer than 27 1/2 years. It is spiritually that I feel the soothing peace of communication though writing this. It is spiritually that my mind continues an inner dialogue of life, mankind, faith, and Christ's place in each. It is spiritually that I'm reflecting on what is real to me and why I care so much to identify it. I know in my heart that the baby who was born in Bethleham matters. I know that He is the Son of God. I know that He loves each and every one of us.

I am a physical person all of the time,
who slows down enough some of the time,
to remember I am a spiritual being first.

Maybe that only makes sense to me but that is what is real even if I can't explain it. I'm so grateful to feel these spiritual witnesses of Christ this Christmas season. It's made me feel like I'm celebrating Christmas for the first time. I have countless blessings, supportive friends, and loving family. My prayer is that we can all open our hearts to the immeasureable love of God and remember the blessings that came from a baby born on that silent night long ago.

Merry Christmas!
Happy Christmukkah! (Especially to my favorite Missoulans)
Love you all!

The problem with the world is that we draw the circle of our family too small. - Mother Teresa

(*NOTE* Here's the link to the book/study about religion in America that I haven't read yet but have read about and got me going on this train of thought. http://americangrace.org/ And here is the link about just some of what the book had to say about Mormons in American Culture http://beta-newsroom.lds.org/article/major-new-study-of-religion-has-much-to-say-about-mormons )

I could probably write half a dozen separate posts right now but I think I'll just see what I can get down in one. I think it starts with my faith as a Mormon and more specifically my devotion to Jesus Christ.

Sometime last summer I had one of my brain clouds - I get a feeling to learn more about something and feel compelled to collaborate and learn from/with others. I call it a "brain cloud" because it just kind of slowly moves in like a fog and stays around until I either do something about it or ignore it long enough it fades into the background. Well this particular brain cloud had to do with religion.

How do different faiths interact? How do the individuals generally view one another? What perceptions do we have of each other? Which of these are based in truth or misconception? What common ground do we share? What kind of neighbors do we make? And then more personally, what is it about the Mormon faith that makes others so uncomfortable? How do I open the door to discussion?

Last summer I had the great opportunity to spend time with some best friends(you know who you are!) in Montana who are of a variety of faiths. I was somewhat surprised when one friend hesitantly(and respectfully I'll add) asked if it was okay to ask me a question about being Mormon.  I indicated I was an open book to any of their questions or comments no matter how controversial they may seem. So the big question was what did I think about the South Park episode about Mormons?? Okay, it was a funny moment. First of all I hadn't seen it but regardless of what was in the show I told them it didn't really bother me. And honestly it doesn't. I mean I suppose it was full of  UNtruths and DISrespectful jokes but that really has nothing to do with a religion.

Here's an example: For hundreds of years in literature, media, and television, Judaism has been MISrepresented, MISjudged, and DISrespected. But where has most Christians(and others) received their information to form opinions on Judaism in general and in America? From the MIS- or DIS- sources(I'm referring to books, media, TV, etc MISinforming and DISrespecting). Not usually from a direct source...you know like an actual person who practices Judaism. What a concept!


So I've asked myself. What would a "direct source" about a religion or faith look like? What about an entire community of individuals who can turn to a real person and find out what that actual person believes, what faith they follow, and how that faith lives and breathes for them? I don't really mean in a missionary/spread the word type of way. Rather I mean as an informative, respect driven forum? Obviously technology makes this concept exceptionally easy even for the less tech savvy of folks. But still I hesitate because it just seems a little too good to be true. Easiser said than done.

Religion is a lot like politics and its discussion can turn your average person into a bubbling brew of passionate lecture, spewing out vague phrases like "burn in hell" - what does anyone really mean by that anyway?? I mean does anyone out there actually believe in a little red devil with horns and a spiked tail? And likewise an uncompassionate God who simply sends masses to "burn" for not being born at the "right" time or within the "right" culture? I don't know. I guess maybe there are some who do but my gut tells me that MOST people are sincere and sophisticated in their faith. They choose to live the way that they do based on real feelings of what they see as right and wrong.

I believe MOST people feel brotherhood and compassion for the people in their community and in the world. And yet I also believe that MOST people are uneducated or misinformed(comfortably in some cases) about the core doctrines of any other faith than their own. Is there something to be feared there? In understanding what another group of people believe?

I can understand that what I'm referring to is no small task. There are probably professors of world religions who dedicate their lives to simply learning about the many faiths in this world and only scratch the surface. So is that what I'm suggesting...if so that is simply not reasonable. But what about opening or offering ourselves to those around us? Asking our friends and neighbors what they believe and with only one motive; of knowing them better. Isn't that the heart of real friendship? Sincerity. Feeling safe enough to share what makes us real and vulnerable. And religion is like that to most people. It's not a joke or a game. It's not a club or an obsession. It is where our heart feels truth - sometimes like a comforting whisper and other times like a fire burning.

That is what my faith as a Mormon is for me. It is where my heart feels truth. Like the ringing of a bell in my soul; I am a child of God. I have a purpose on this earth.

So that is where I'm coming from and a little introduction to where I think I'm going. So to all my friends of all faiths(yes, that means you!) what would an open forum of religion look like to you? Would you share what you know about your faith(Doctrines, culture, etc) and what it means to you? And any parting words of wisdom (like "hey you're a nutjob and should shut your trap")?

I'm looking for some more "open book" people out there...Is that you????? Regardless this should be interesting and I'm looking forward to it.